5. Why is it important for us to be having this discussion?
(This is the fifth out of a series of seven posts that I wrote for the Faculty of Engineering’s Women in Engineering [WEN] association, for Mental Health Awareness Week, 2017)
Many people have the idea that mental illnesses are shameful to have. They associate these illnesses with failure in life and as a personal weakness. All these negative connotations that society puts onto mental illnesses are so unhealthy, but they are not the truth. People who do suffer mental illnesses are then subsequently put into a more isolated world and feel more alone than ever – but is this the way it should be?
As people ignore the importance of mental health, place a stigma onto the topic and therefore lack empathy in this crucial aspect of humans, it leads us to not realise the extent of these effects on an individual who may be suffering. Multiply this by so many of us who struggle, and you will only maybe then realise how serious the problem is.
But mental health should not be treated as a faraway concept; to be segregated and neglected from society. It is actually a significant part of everyone’s lives, as it defines our emotional, psychological and social well-being.
But too many of us believe that depression and anxiety are the individual’s choice.
For me to hear something like “it’s because you’re weak, just toughen up”, “I don’t know why you would get depressed”, “I’m dealing with my life well, so why can’t you?” or “you should be thankful that your lives are still so much better than others, so you shouldn’t get depressed”; it makes me squirm in discomfort, disbelief, frustration and anger. It is NOT someone’s choice to develop depression or anxiety.
It is NOT someone’s choice to have these negative thoughts engulf their minds. It is NOT someone’s choice to stay in bed that extra few hours because they struggle to get out of bed. It is NOT someone’s choice to develop an anxiety or panic attack. We are NOT lazy, nor weak-hearted, nor lacking in determination in life.
Depression and anxiety (and other mental illnesses) can easily be a part of anyone’s lives. ONE IN FIVE PEOPLE are struggling, or have struggled, through a mental illness. Isn’t that a ridiculous rate? Isn’t that appalling when, in New Zealand, these mental illnesses are hardly spoken of?
Imagine that you walk out onto a busy street and you see every 1 in 5 people who walk past you have their heads bandaged up. What would you think?
Whenever I open up to my friends about my struggles, it is more than likely that they will also mention to me how they have had their own struggles. And in this situation, many say that I should feel relieved to know I am not alone in the struggle. And that I should be relieved that someone else understands.
But I am in PAIN whenever I hear that another friend is experiencing all of this, too. I am trying to hold onto my own dear life to try and survive through my difficulties, and it is taking incredible motivation, strength, endurance and effort to try and progress in my life with my chronic pains, depression and anxiety. But to hear that ANOTHER person knows what that feels like, just make my insides twist in sadness and grief.
And with an engineer’s brain, I can multiply this to a larger extent and see the bigger picture. I can imagine that if this many people around me are suffering, then there are THAT many more people out there in the world who are suffering, too. To be aware that so many people are going through these mental illnesses; it really makes my heart ache. And I want to change that. I so desperately do.
New Zealand definitely needs to take the positive step forward to change the perspectives on mental illness and remove the stigma that currently exists.
However, the stigma of mental illnesses doesn’t just stop there. For example, with depression itself and the medications used, too many of us speak about them without any experience or education on either topic. Even for myself, I had the thoughts that the effects of antidepressants were more harmful than not, which were definitely skewed opinions. What made me hesitant on taking antidepressants, was due to the idea that antidepressants had negative side effects, and caused hormonal imbalances in my body (which is not true).
But I made the active choice to go online and research thoroughly about what antidepressants are, how they may affect me, what side effects there may be, and if they are really safe to use. And the results were VERY trustworthy; the benefits of antidepressants were justified and I felt like I could depend on them. Antidepressants actually do the useful job of BALANCING the hormonal levels of serotonin in your body, and they are doing more good to you than bad.
But yes, there are side effects that come with taking the medication, which you have to be aware of and take into full consideration. And what is reassuring is that there are multiple options of medications for you to test and try until you find one that your body can adjust to.
For myself in particular, I am taking a form of tricyclic antidepressant called Nortriptylene. Yes, this is an antidepressant, but my PRIMARY use of this medication is for my physical pains. Sounds a bit confusing? Ironic? Conveniently, nortriptylene is also a nerve painkiller. This means that it is different to the common painkillers (that target the pain in the AREA of pain) because nortriptylene targets the pain where it BEGINS from, which is in the brain. This medication, and another called Gabapentin that I take, treats pains called ‘neuropathic pains’. These are nerve pains transmitted from the brain that gives off my intense chronic pain symptoms. Therefore, they are the perfect medications for me as my chronic pains are stemmed from centrally mediated pain (a.k.a, pains originating from the CNS).
Side effects-wise; yes there is a bit of sacrifice for me. Maybe quite a bit of a sacrifice if you as a third party may see it. The side effects of any medication may be a long list, but we all have to be open-minded and be aware that not all of these will affect you as an individual. And so the side effects of nortriptylene and gabapentin on MYSELF include feeling drowsy or tired, feeling light-headed and faint, feeling dizzy and queasy, and having a dry mouth. Yes those sound pretty significant but honestly if there can be ANYTHING that can ease my physical pains- I would take that sacrifice any day, WHATEVER it takes.
But it is really up to the individual to decide on the suitable medications for yourselves. It is the individual’s choice on whether or not antidepressants are for you. But I recommend you do your full research and take into consideration everything, BEFORE you come to this conclusion. I do indirectly mean to not say ‘NO’ to antidepressants, although that is purely my opinion. Yes, there may be problematic side effects such as “suicidal thoughts may increase”, “headaches”, “stomachaches”, “drowsiness”, “dry mouth”, “constipation”, “weight gain”, “agitation” and “irritability”, which all may sound concerning and therefore may be dangerous to some people. But as I previously said about my own pains, if it means in the life or death (death-like pains and minor suicidal thoughts for me) situation for a person, antidepressants may be the only choice for them to rely on through their depression.
Those who are fortunate enough to not need antidepressants should take the time to educate themselves and be more compassionate toward their friends and family who may be struggling.
Overall, our society needs to work collectively to start minimising the levels of mental illnesses in the community. The public needs to be educated, informed, and understood. We mustn’t keep defining people by their mental illnesses, or make them feel isolated, nor make them feel weak and powerless. We need to encourage these people struggling to reach out and open up about their struggles and to talk about them. We need to let these people know that they are NOT alone, that they CAN be understood, and that there are MANY paths to recovery.
If maintained or reached, positive and healthy mental health can do wonders to people. It can help the individual reach their true full potential, equip the person with the ability to cope with the stresses in life, work productively, make meaningful connections with their communities, and so much more.
And we can definitely work towards positive mental health changes for EVERYONE.
One way to start this positive ball rolling is to become comfortable with talking about mental illnesses as a casual conversational topic. Become aware of the original stigma, take topics such as suicide seriously, and change your mindsets about antidepressants. Understand that mental illnesses are more common than you think, be open to talking and listening about it, don’t define people by their mental illnesses, and use the right words. Let your friends, family or partner know that they are not alone in this tough struggle, give them hope, give them support and the love that they need.
And if YOU are the one going through struggles, I encourage you to begin opening up to people of your story if, and when, you feel comfortable of this idea.
Self-advocacy can be VERY powerful.
If all this may sound like a challenge to get rolling at once, all I ask from you is to have an open mind, ear and soul. Go up to someone tomorrow and tell them a compliment. Smile an extra time to your friend, family, partner, or stranger. Tell people you love them.
If done collectively, these can become so powerful.
Lets all take small steps at a time and begin the constructive and positive journey for mental health.
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